No Regrets
by Mistress-Samwise
Summary: Post-LOTR (Also titled: "Let's See How Much We Can Stuff Into This PG-13 Rating!") A misdirected Frodo tries to express himself to Sam. F/S slash... Or is it? *holds pinky finger to mouth a la Dr. Evil* See inside for details.
1. Author's Note

_AUTHOR'S NOTE_

_Dear reader,_

_Presumably, you've read the summary already. You may have noticed my confusion upon whether this is a slashfic or not. And, if you may, I would like to explain my reason behind that._

_For you see, this is my first fic of the sort, and I want to be sure I tread as lightly as possible upon the subject of slash. Now, you may be thinking "This is gonna be lame" or "You should prolly just burn yourself now and save the trouble" or "No hablo Inglese", but, let me assure you, this is going to be different. I am not a fan of gratuitous slash, or unnecessary slash, for those of you with a less than copious vocabulary. But be warned: A part of this is fairly "blue" (not the sad kind of blue), but not to a stupid "blue" extent. Now, before you whip something nasty at my head, allow me to explain. I love using those sorts of things to present powerful conflicts in my stories. So, in short, that means it is in there for a reason. My moral compass is just as sensitive as any Joe Schmoe's down the street, so I'm not some messed up freak or a robot. Though I did write this story while high on sprinkles._

_Now, the main purpose of this whole author's note thing was to tell you that you have to decide for yourself whether this is slashfic or not. I just kinda got carried away up there. So… Yeah._

_Okay, let's review._

_1.) This is my first "slash" fic_

_2.) I say that because it might not be_

_3.) If this is slash, it is not gratuitous slash_

_4.) A part of this is "blue"_

_5.) Not stupid "blue", though_

_6.) I use the "blue" to present a conflict_

_7.) I'm not a robot_

_8.) I wrote this while high on sprinkles_

9.) You have to decide for yourself if this is slash or not 

_10.) And I get carried away easily_

_Get it? _

_Got it? _

_Good._

_And now… My story._


	2. No Regrets

_Mistress_Samwise: And more thing… Elvish is in here, and translations are at the bottom. Now, whatever you do, *don't* use the Elvish. It is quite bad. If you do try to use it, Manwe will strike you down. And, believe me that hurts for quite a while. *rubs butt*_

No Regrets

         The warm mid-morning sun shines on the back of my neck as my hand slowly drifts over to the ring on my left hand. While I finger the smooth metal, I look down to see the adornment. I am relieved to see a bright silver glint flashing brilliantly in the sunlight. King Aragorn and Queen Arwen had sent me and Rosie a pair of matching mithril rings for our wedding in order for to keep certain memories from coming back. Thoughts about Frodo grow in my mind about what it must take for him to deal with his problems. Tears prick at the back of my eyes, but I take my trowel in hand and continue to work around a very pesky weed. All of that is over now. The Ring was destroyed and Saruman is long gone. But, sometimes, I find myself with my hand on my wedding ring, denying the fact that I do find comfort in a cool metal band close to my skin.

         It's gone, Samwise Gardener… Be happy you didn't have to carry It as long as poor Mister Frodo…

         I am serving my master again, just like before. But it'll never be the same. I will never be able to look at him as I used to. He's changed, but so have I.

         I breathe a deep sigh as the breeze presses against my face. Meditating silently, I can hear the birds chirping cheerfully and the cicadas in the new Party Tree. But I hear something else. Something much quieter. I strain to hear what sounds like someone softly sobbing. I stand up to brush the dirt off of myself and I stroll to the front door of Bag End. Gently closing the door behind me, I step into the foyer. The direction of the crying seems to be coming from Frodo's room. My stomach sinks with dread as I creep up the hallway to his room. Peering in through the half open doorway, I see him kneeling by side of his bed, his face buried in his arms, his body shaking. Lying on top of the bed is a red leather bound book, two keys, and a letter. I knock on the door, nervously fiddling with the ring on my finger.

         "Mister Frodo…? Are you alright?"

         Frodo stops weeping and turns around to look at me, his hand clenching the jewel hanging on his necklace.

         "Oh, Sam! It's you!" He quickly stands up, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. "I-I need to give you something…"

         With his trembling hand he offers me the letter from off of the bed.

         "Go ahead, Sam… Read it."

         I open the envelope and draw out the letter.

         " 'I, Frodo Baggins, hereby endow the property of Bag End to Samwise Gardener, including all of my possessions, and I bestow to him the Red Book of Westmarch so that he may continue all accounts of his journeys during the War of the Ring…' Oh, Frodo… You can't do this! Bag End belongs to your family, not us Gardeners! I can't possibly accept this–"

         "Sam…" he says while placing his hands on my shoulders. "You have done more for me than anyone else on this earth, even more than Bilbo. Mine is a debt I'll never be able to repay. The least I can do is give you Bag End. And as far as I'm concerned, I consider the Gardeners my closest and dearest family." He pauses for a moment and then smiles. "Don't go thinking that I'm going to give it back to the S-B's, alright, Sam?"

         He hands me the keys and I stare at them incredulously for a moment.

         "Beggin' your pardon, sir… But why are you doing this?"

         Frodo looks me in the eyes and embraces me.

         "You deserve it, Sam. I couldn't imagine anyone else but you…"

         He then holds me in his arms for a long time, clenching my shirt in his fists. I can feel my neck grow damp with his tears as he shakes with silent sobs. Cradling him in my arms, I sit down onto the bed and he grips me tightly.

         "Don't worry, Mister Frodo…"

         "You've always been there for me, Sam… I don't know where I would be without you…"

         I pull Frodo away from my shoulder and look deep into his sapphire eyes.

         "What's the matter, Frodo…? It hurts me to see you like this…"

         Frodo is silent as his hand begins to wander to his necklace chain.

         "I-I… I…" He grasps the entire chain in his fist and throws his other arm around me, burying his face into my shoulder. "Oh, Sam…! I just want to be with you…"

         "I will never leave you, Mister Frodo… You know that."

         He looks up at me, his crystal blue eyes shining with strife. He didn't need to say anything for me to know that something was wrong. Now both of his hands were grasping his necklace, trembling, tears streaming down his face.

         "Please don't cry…" I say, pulling out my handkerchief out to wipe away his tears. He closes his eyes and sits silently, his breathing slow and steady, his cheeks burning red while I clean them. I then fold my kerchief back up and put it away in my pocket. Frodo is hanging his head, his chin to his chest. His voice is weak and shame-filled.

         "I must be such a pain…"

         "No, Mister Frodo… I do what I do for you because I care about you. You are no burden.  Never were, never are." I pause for a moment and stare into his eyes. "I have risked my life for you before… And I would do it all over again, in a heartbeat. No regrets, Mister Frodo… No regrets…"

         He wraps his arms around my neck, pressing his face close to mine.

         "Oh, Sam!"

         He then sinks to a low melodic whisper.

         "_Amin n'irma auta lle, a'maelamin Samwise... / Nola amin merna amin'thya yassen lle ten'aya ar'onama amin mela yassen lle…*" He squeezes me tightly. "__Amin nauva auta lle...  / Aa'sai ten'aya.*" He pauses for while, and then speaks even softer but I can still hear what he says. "__Nal'ten amin umi, amin n'irma lle sint tanya…*" He pulls himself away from me and gingerly places his hand onto my face while staring deep into my eyes. I close my eyes as he slowly and gently runs his fingers through my hair, pulling his soft fingertips over the pointed tip of my ear.  Leaning over, he kisses me on top of my sandy colored curls, then on my forehead, and then resting his warm, yielding lips on my cheek. I open my eyes again, looking into his beautiful crystal blue ones, and I can barely hear the last thing he says. __"Amin mela lle, Samwise.*"_

         My eyes widen in shock as I feel my face grow very warm. I don't know a lot of Elvish, but I do know enough to understand what he last said. 

         "You love me-" 

         My words are cut short as he places his lips on mine in a tender kiss, long and deep. I feel his tongue slip into my mouth as his hands stray to my shirt collar, pushing me over onto my back. 

         I know what we're doing isn't right, but I let him anyway. I've shown him my love before, and all he wants to do is give me his. I can't imagine the pain he goes through everyday and I can't blame him for trying to find comfort in me. And I know, deep down, that I love him more than anyone, but I can never be in love with him. He is my soul mate, my kindred spirit, and I will let him give me his love if that is what his heart truly desires.

         The weight of his body on mine pins me down as he gently caresses me with his lips, fervently kissing my neck. How can something so wrong feel so good?

         "Oh, Frodo…" I squeak as I feel the tickle of his hot breath on my body. He slowly unbuttons my shirt while he kisses me lower and lower. The brush of his lips on my chest makes me shiver with pleasure. I fondle his dark brown curls, feeling them as soft as milk against my fingers, grasping them in bliss at his touch. He stops to look up at me, his blue eyes shining brightly with a fire as he begins to undo his shirt. Slipping the shirt off of his shoulders, he exposes a thin, fine line under his left collarbone. Tears spring to my eyes at the sight of his wound as memories of his pain come back to me. An even deeper sorrow returns to me as I look over at his neck, at the bite mark he received from that accursed spider. I place my fingers on the pale line and then on his throat, his skin unusually cold. Bringing my lips to his neck, I hope that I can warm his icy flesh. He squirms uneasily at my hot touch, but he eventually lets me kiss him, drinking in my heat as well as my love. My lips wander to the scar on his shoulder and they linger there as I sense him grow restless.

         "Oh, Sam…" he cries, his body numb in euphoria. He draws himself away from my lips, only to place his on my throat. I feel him gently sucking on my neck as I caress his soft supple skin, the cool metal of my ring kneading into his flesh. Suddenly, he pulls himself away from my body and he scrambles off of the bed, throwing himself onto the floor.

         "Forgive me, Sam! Please, I beg of you!" Frodo exclaims, cowering, his body bowed over. "I shouldn't have made you do this!"

         "Frodo-"

         "No! I shouldn't have let my emotions get in the way of what is true! You love Rosie, not me!"

         "Mister Frodo, I do love you! I just can't be in love with you. I'm in love with Rosie, but that doesn't mean I still can't love you. Mister Frodo, if it wasn't for the fact that we both are men, she would be nowhere in the picture and no mistake! But, please, don't go breaking your heart over me, sir. I'm still your servant, and you're still my master… And maybe that's the way it should stay."

         Frodo says nothing, tears falling down his cheeks. He stands up and embraces me tightly. I run my fingers through his soft brown hair.

         "I will always be your Sam and don't you go thinkin' otherwise. But my heart belongs to two people, and that's hard for me. I don't want to hurt you, Frodo. You've had too much pain, too much for even some of the meanest people on this earth. I know you find comfort in my love, but I don't want to misdirect you. I will always love you, Mister Frodo, with all my heart and soul… But not my body."

         And while we sit here in each other's arms, we both are listening to the birds singing, a sound we once thought we would never hear again.

         "…Thank you, Sam…"

---

         _Mistress_Samwise: *instead of the real Mistress_Samwise, there is a piece of paper with a quickly written note on it* I'm too scared to be here right now. I don't know how many of you have an Uzi or any other type of submachine gun, and I don't want to find out. And, while you're at it, extinguish any flames you have on your Molotov cocktails. Domo arigato. Also, let me thank you for reading my story and please fell free to review. I have also included translations for the Elvish. Please note that using this Elvish is hazardous to your health, so you are advised not to do so. Thank you again. –Mistress_Samwise. _

_*1. "I never want to leave you, my beloved Samwise... Though I wish I could stay with you forever and share my love with you…"_

_*2. "I will leave you... Maybe forever."_

_*3. "Before I do, I want you to know that…_

_*4. "I love you, Samwise."_


End file.
